and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
