i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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