please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize