I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
