But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize