Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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