i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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