you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
