My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
