erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
