Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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