i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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