I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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