is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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