Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
