Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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