i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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