and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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