I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
