Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
