I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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