maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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