I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
