I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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