So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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