I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize