I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
