What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
