Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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