One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
