We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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