in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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