You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
