just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
