You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Even my vagina gasped.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize