Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
