I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
