You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
