Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she looked like the before picture.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize