I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
