Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
