The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
