Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
