she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
