I wanna bring you to show and tell
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize