i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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