I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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