Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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