She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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