You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Found your dick twin last night
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
