Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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