I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize