If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
