I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
