bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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