I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
