is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
