Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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